Divorce involves not only the physical and financial separation of two people, but also the emotional. High conflict divorces result out of the emotional issues clouding and affecting the decision making in the other areas.
The results of this become apparent when two adults begin litigating over which party should walk away with the couch, and thousands of dollars are spent in court financing these arguments to preserve principles, rather than substance.
The results are most traumatic when the emotional issues affect the children. It is very easy for parents to fall into the trap by failing to realize the negative impact of their high conflict divorce on the children.
Courts and clinical psychologists alike, suggest children benefit most in environments that provide stability and security for them. Only when two adults recognize the necessity of nurturing and molding the social growth of their children can they successfully provide a stable and secure environment for the most innocent players in this game. This stability and security can be turned upside down when parents lose sight of their goals and become consumed with micro-managing one another’s lives.
It is important for parents to recognize that while divorce will always be an issue in their children’s lives, it does not have to be a traumatic and scarring event. The more time and involvement by both parents to formulate a specific parenting plan, the less likely there will be a chance for dilemma, and therefore more likely that the children involved will fall on normal developmental tracks. When fashioning parenting plans and visitation schedules, parents should be sensitive towards creating schedules which aim to strengthen the children’s relationships with both parents. Only those agreements which are based in communication and mutual respect can create an opportunity to further the best interest of the children.
Only those parents who contribute a healthy attitude as an element towards their recovery from this great loss will end up as “winners.” If you or a loved one is in the process of a divorce, be sure to contact a family law attorney who shares your goals of resolving your dissolution in the most successful manner, by furthering what is in the best interest of the minor children involved.