How Family Court Custody Mediation Works

California’s Family Code requires that when there are contested custody or visitation issues regarding minor children, the parties must attempt to resolve their disputes through mediation before going to court to litigate the issue. The court provides for each litigant to attend a free mediation session when a request is filed for orders relating to child custody or child visitation. This is a valuable service provided to family law litigants, and litigants must take full advantage of this helpful and free resource. The court highly encourages parties to reach an agreement on issues such as custody and visitation, as it allows the parties to exercise control over some of the most important aspects of their lives, rather than leaving a judge to make decisions for the family.

California law emphasizes that custody decisions must always reflect the best interests of the child, as outlined in Family Code § § 3011 and 3020. These statutes highlight that the child’s health, safety, welfare, and frequent contact with both parents are the guiding principles in all custody-related decisions.

The Custody Mediation Process Step by Step

When parents disagree about custody or visitation, one party files a Request for Order (RFO) with the family court. Once the RFO is filed, the court automatically directs the case to Family Court Services (FCS), which assigns a mediator to the matter.

The process generally follows this sequence:

1. Request for Order filed – Initiates the dispute over custody or visitation.
2. Case referral to Family Court Services – Mediation is scheduled.
3. Mediation session – Parties meet with a mediator to discuss custody and visitation proposals.
4. Outcome possibilities –
   • If the parents reach an agreement, the mediator drafts a stipulated parenting plan. This plan is signed by both parties and submitted to the judge for approval, becoming a binding custody order.
   • If the parents do not agree, the case proceeds to a hearing, and the judge decides on custody using the “best interests” standard. In recommending counties, the mediator submits a written recommendation for the judge’s consideration.

This structured flow ensures that parents have an opportunity to resolve disputes outside of litigation before court involvement escalates.

What Happens During Custody Mediation

At mediation, the parties will have the opportunity to discuss their concerns with the mediator and explain why their custody or visitation proposal is best for their family. Having their voice heard can help parties feel more at ease about the situation and move the issue toward a settlement. The mediator will listen to both sides and will help the parties reach an agreement to resolve their custody and visitation issues.

It is not a requirement that you reach an agreement at mediation, and in fact, many family law litigants are unable to resolve their issues with the mediator’s help and are forced to litigate their case in court. Even if an agreement is not reached, mediation can still be a helpful tool to give you some insight as to what the other side is asking for and what the real issues are in the case.

Misconceptions About Mediation

Some parties do not like the idea of being forced to attend mediation. I have had clients tell me they believe mediation will be a waste of time because the other side will not be reasonable, or even because they would prefer to have the judge decide the outcome of their case. I encourage my clients to attend with an open mind, and most who attend are grateful for the opportunity. Mediation is not therapy, but many parties find the process to be therapeutic.

It is common to misunderstand mediation as informal or ineffective. In reality, mediation can significantly influence the direction of the case — even when no agreement is reached. It enables parents to understand each other’s priorities better and can help reduce courtroom surprises.

County-Specific Rules: Los Angeles vs. Ventura

It is essential to enter mediation with a clear understanding of what will take place and what is expected of you. If you are attending mediation in Los Angeles County, everything discussed during mediation will be confidential and cannot be used as evidence in court.

By contrast, in Ventura County, the mediator will not only be able to share with the Court what is said in mediation, but will also recommend to the Court. This system is known as Child Custody Recommending Counseling (CCRC) and is used in many counties throughout California, including Ventura, Riverside, and San Bernardino.

For these reasons, it is important to meet with your attorney before attending mediation so that you can make the most of this process and understand how local county practices may affect your case.

Why Mediation Differs From Litigation

Mediation provides litigants with the opportunity to resolve their issues with the opposing side and negotiate a mutually satisfactory agreement. It is in this respect that the mediation process is so strikingly different from letting the judge decide the outcome.

One Los Angeles County bench officer says that he does not mediate, he does not arbitrate, and he does not negotiate – he RULES, and that means what he says goes whether you like it or not. In mediation, the other side will be encouraged to negotiate with you, but in court, you will not be invited to negotiate with the judge.

Another Los Angeles County bench officer often reminds parties that they know more about what is best for their children than she does. If she makes the decision, she will usually be doing so without having met the children, and likely without ever speaking directly to the parents.

Exceptions and Special Circumstances

While mediation is typically mandatory in most custody and visitation disputes, there are circumstances where it may not be applicable or may be modified. For example:

• Domestic Violence Cases: Courts may allow separate sessions to ensure safety, and mediation may be conducted remotely or waived altogether.
• Emergency Custody Orders: If a child’s safety is at risk, parents can seek immediate orders without waiting for mediation.
• High-Conflict Cases: Judges may appoint a child custody evaluator or a guardian ad litem if mediation fails to address deeper issues.

These exceptions underscore the importance of legal representation in custody disputes — every case has unique factors that influence the outcome.

Preparing for Mediation: Practical Guidance

To maximize the benefit of the mediation process, parents should prepare both practically and emotionally. Recommended steps include:

• Drafting a proposed parenting plan that reflects the child’s best interests.
• Gathering documentation such as school schedules, extracurricular activities, and health records.
• Approaching the session with flexibility and a willingness to compromise.
• Consulting your attorney before mediation to understand what you should and should not discuss.

Proper preparation not only increases the likelihood of reaching an agreement but also positions you more strongly if the case proceeds to litigation.

The Value of Family Court Mediation Services

If you approach Family Court Mediation Services with an open mind and reasonable expectations, they are a valuable and essential part of the family law process. They enable parents to remain in control of their children’s future, reduce court involvement, and foster cooperative parenting even in challenging situations.

Frequently Asked Questions About Custody Mediation in California

Is mediation required in all custody cases?

Yes. Under the California Family Code, mediation is required whenever custody or visitation is contested. Exceptions exist in cases involving domestic violence or emergencies.

What is the difference between confidential and recommending mediation?

In confidential mediation (Los Angeles County and similar jurisdictions), nothing said in mediation is shared with the court. In recommending mediation (Ventura County and others), the mediator may submit recommendations to the judge if no agreement is reached.

Can I bring my attorney to mediation?

Generally, attorneys do not attend mediation sessions; however, parents should meet with their lawyer beforehand to review any agreements afterward. In some counties, exceptions exist for high-conflict or domestic violence cases.

What happens if mediation fails?

If no agreement is reached, the case proceeds to a custody hearing. The judge makes a final decision based on the best interests of the child, sometimes using the mediator’s recommendations if county rules allow.

How should I prepare for mediation?

Parents should bring proposed schedules, relevant documents, and a willingness to negotiate. Consulting with an attorney before mediation ensures you understand county-specific practices and potential outcomes.

Can the judge overrule a mediator’s recommendation?

Yes. Even in recommending counties, the judge has ultimate authority and may adopt, modify, or reject the mediator’s recommendations.

Is custody mediation free in California?

Yes. Mediation services provided through Family Court Services are offered free of charge to litigants as part of the custody process.

Get Legal Help with Custody Mediation

Child custody mediation can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions run high. Having an experienced family law attorney ensures that you are fully prepared, your rights are protected, and the process works toward the best interests of your child.

At Reape Rickett, our family law attorneys have extensive experience guiding parents through mediation in Los Angeles, Ventura, and surrounding counties. We help you understand what to expect, prepare effectively, and work toward agreements that prioritize your child’s well-being.

Contact Reape Rickett today to schedule a consultation and get the legal support you need for custody mediation.