What Science Says About Divorce, Love, and Why Relationships End

Living together is no longer a predictor of divorce. The Centers for Disease Control conducted a study following several couples for some years. From the group that lived together before marriage, there was no substantial increase in the incidence of divorce compared to those who waited. However, within the group that did live together before marriage, the group that was engaged first did better and divorced less than those who shacked up before their engagement.

The Financial Burden of Divorce

Ohio State concluded, and this comes as no surprise, divorce is expensive. So expensive that 15 percent of couples who separated had not commenced a divorce process within the first 10 years after breaking up.

Gender Roles and Household Dynamics

A Norwegian study concluded that couples who share housework had a 50 percent higher risk of divorce! Put down those brooms gentlemen! However to understand why this was the case the researches concluded it was not the shared work as much as those who did share housework had more modern views of marriage. Apparently the modern view is that marriage is not a life long commitment. I still say husbands should put down those brooms for the sake of their marriage.

Emotional & Behavioral Impact of Separation

Men are more likely to drink after divorce. The University of Cincinnati concluded that men tend to drink more after the split. Wives had tempered those urges while together. But a rather curious finding was that married women drank more than their divorced counterparts. Are men that hard to live with?

Health Consequences of Divorce

Divorce is bad for your health. A Michigan State University study concluded that there was more long-term damage to a person’s health if they divorce at a young age as opposed to being older. They believe that the older you are, the more developed your coping skills are.

The Genetic Science Behind Commitment

The ultimate revenge? Researchers at the University of Florence found that men who cheat on their spouses were at an increased risk of a heart attack. Yes, they blame it on the older fellow trying to keep up with the younger lady.

Cold Feet? UCLA researchers conducted a 4 year study of married couples. For women who had some doubt before marriage, 18 percent had divorced as compared to 8 percent of the never had a doubt group. Men on the other hand, doubt or not, did not predict potential divorce.

Finally some say it’s just part of your DNA. Researchers in Sweden have isolated an oxytocin receptor gene called A-allele which they have dubbed the anti commitment gene. Those who have it are less likely to marry or stay married than those without.

In-Laws and Marital Boundaries

What do you think of your In-Laws? Researchers at the University of Michigan found that husbands who had a good relationship with their in-laws decreased the risk of divorce by 20 percent. When the wife reported a good relationship with her in-laws, the risk of divorce increased by 20 percent. The research shows that the wife eventually thought the in-laws were meddling too much in the relationship.

Cold Feet and Divorce Likelihood

Cold Feet? UCLA researchers conducted a 4 year study of married couples. For women who had some doubt before marriage, 18 percent had divorced as compared to 8 percent of the never had a doubt group. Men on the other hand, doubt or not, did not predict potential divorce.

Types of Divorce and Legal Considerations

• Uncontested Divorce: Simplified, faster route
• Contested Divorce: Complex litigation
• No-Fault Divorce: No blame needed
• Annulments: Legally erase the marriage

Also Important:

• Filing process
• Waiting periods
• Custody battles
• Legal aid availability

Divorce and Children: Custody & Emotional Impact

• Types of Custody: Joint, sole, legal vs physical
• Emotional Toll: Children’s behavioral changes
• Parental Alienation Risk: When one parent manipulates the child
• Support Systems: Co-parenting counseling

Coping Mechanisms and Mental Health

• Therapy: Individual and group therapy options
• Support Groups: Online and offline
• Journaling, mindfulness, exercise: Evidence-based techniques

Role of Marriage Counseling and Therapy

What’s often overlooked:

• Early intervention: Saving relationships before the breaking point
• Therapist modalities: CBT, EFT, family systems
• Religious/spiritual counseling: Alignment with the couple’s values

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How long should I wait to file for divorce after separating?

Legally, it varies by state or country, but emotionally, give yourself clarity first.

Can my spouse’s drinking be a reason for full custody?

Yes, if you can prove it harms the child’s well-being.

How can I tell if I’m genetically wired for commitment issues?

There’s no commercial test yet, but family history and relationship patterns offer clues.

Is it cheaper to file for a no-fault divorce?

Typically, yes. Contested divorces with lawyers and court appearances cost more.

What’s the best way to involve in-laws without harming marriage?

Clear boundaries, open communication, and mutual agreements on roles.

Next Steps and Get Help

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