How to Prepare for Divorce: Legal, Financial, and Emotional Steps to Take Now

Matthew A. Breddan, Esq. March 7, 2019

Financial Considerations: Setting Expectations for Life After Divorce

Financially, life will change. Except for the extremely wealthy, it is virtually impossible to sustain two equal households similar to the marital household. Someone (or both of you) will have to move from the family residence. Typically, this is achieved by selling the family residence and splitting any proceeds, or one party buys out the other party’s interest.

Additionally, accounts and property acquired during marriage must be properly divided. Obtaining statements or other relevant documentation before or early in the process can save time, money, and frustration.

Understanding the Financial Ecosystem of Divorce

Divorce affects every dimension of your financial life. It’s not just about splitting assets but involves a reconfiguration of budgets, financial responsibilities, credit, retirement plans, and often tax obligations. Understanding these facets helps you avoid costly mistakes.

Marital vs. Separate Property: Not all assets are jointly owned. In general, marital property includes any income or assets acquired during the marriage, while separate property includes inheritances, gifts, or assets owned before the marriage. It’s essential to correctly classify assets before division.
Division of Debt: Debt obligations like mortgages, car loans, or credit card balances also need division. Sometimes, one spouse might be held responsible for debts taken in both names if not addressed legally.
Spousal Support (Alimony): Alimony is not guaranteed in every divorce but may be awarded depending on factors such as length of marriage, income disparity, and one spouse’s contribution to the other’s career or home life. Understanding whether you will pay or receive support, and for how long, is critical to financial planning.
Retirement Assets and Pensions: Dividing retirement accounts may require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). This process can be complex and should be handled with legal and financial expertise.
Tax Implications: Filing status, exemptions, and capital gains liabilities may change. Understanding the tax consequences of who keeps the house or claims children as dependents can have long-term effects.
Creating a Post-Divorce Budget: Your household income and expenses will change. Developing a realistic, forward-looking budget is necessary for long-term financial health.

How Reape Rickett Can Help

Reape Rickett’s experienced legal professionals work closely with financial experts to ensure that your financial future is protected. We help you understand your rights, anticipate future needs, and plan for stability after divorce.

Family Dynamics: Preparing Children and Creating a Co-Parenting Plan

The changing family dynamic is perhaps the hardest to appropriately anticipate. If children are involved, whether young or “of age,” the decision to divorce or separate can have varied effects.

Emotional Impact by Age Group

Young children often do not understand the concept of divorce. They may internalize the separation, believing it to be their fault, and exhibit regressive behavior like bedwetting or clinginess.
Preteens and teens may react with anger, blame, withdrawal, or academic decline. Open communication and professional support are especially important at this stage.
Adult children, though emotionally mature, may still struggle with shifting family dynamics, loyalty conflicts, or financial concerns related to inheritance or support.

Establishing a Co-Parenting Framework

Effective co-parenting is about minimizing conflict and maintaining a child-focused approach. Start by establishing:

A parenting schedule that balances stability with flexibility
Clear decision-making authority (joint vs. sole legal custody)
Shared guidelines for discipline, routines, and academic expectations
Strategies for managing holidays, vacations, and special occasions

Psychological Support for Children

Children benefit when both parents support their mental health. Consider integrating:

Family or child-focused therapy
School counseling support
Books and resources that help children understand divorce

Emotional Well-being During Divorce: Managing the Internal Storm

Emotionally, you will likely go through extreme highs and lows. You will probably question whether this is right for you and your family, and although well-intentioned, unsolicited advice from friends and family on issues such as legal representation, financial preparation, and even what support and custody orders you should try to achieve, can make a stressful process infinitely more confusing.

Coping With Emotional Disruption

The emotional strain of divorce is not linear. You may cycle through stages of denial, anger, grief, acceptance, and sometimes guilt or regret.

Isolation and Support: While isolation might feel natural, it often worsens distress. Surround yourself with trusted people and support groups who understand divorce challenges.
Routine and Physical Care: Eating well, sleeping enough, and moving regularly aren’t luxuries; they are necessities during stress.
Therapeutic Intervention: A licensed therapist or counselor can help process complex emotions and prevent long-term psychological harm.

Legal Pathways in Divorce: Understanding the Process and Your Rights

Though not detailed in the original version, legal aspects are integral to both macro and micro contexts of this topic.

Key Legal Structures to Navigate

Filing for Divorce: Understand the required documentation and residency requirements in your jurisdiction.
Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce: In an uncontested divorce, both parties agree on all terms. Contested divorces require litigation and may involve multiple court hearings.
Temporary Orders: These can include restraining orders, temporary child custody, or spousal support and are often issued at the beginning of a case.
Discovery Process: This involves exchanging financial and personal information that will affect how assets, debts, and custody are determined.
Mediation vs. Litigation: Mediation is a cooperative, confidential method of dispute resolution. Litigation is adversarial and decided by a judge.
Final Judgment: The court issues a legally binding decision on all unresolved matters.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the first step to take if I’m considering divorce?

Contact a qualified divorce attorney to understand your legal rights, responsibilities, and jurisdictional laws before taking further steps.

How long does the divorce process take?

It varies by state and whether it is contested or uncontested. It may take anywhere from a few months to over a year.

What happens to the house in a divorce?

It may be sold, or one party may buy out the other’s interest. The decision depends on legal ownership, mortgage agreements, and negotiation.

Can I change custody arrangements later?

Yes. Custody orders can be modified if there is a significant change in circumstances and it’s in the child’s best interest.

Do I need a therapist if I feel okay?

Even if you feel stable, therapy can help manage latent emotional responses, support children, and prepare you for post-divorce life.

Divorce Preparation Checklist

Document all marital and separate property
Close joint accounts and open individual financial accounts
Understand state laws regarding alimony and property division
Create a written parenting plan
Consult a family law attorney
Seek therapy for emotional preparation
Set up post-divorce housing and budgeting plans

Let Reape Rickett Be Your Advocate

At Reape Rickett, we understand that divorce is more than a legal event; it is a turning point that affects every aspect of your life. Our multidisciplinary team is equipped to support you through the legal, emotional, and financial implications with strategic planning, compassionate care, and tailored legal representation.

Book a confidential consultation now at Reape Rickett to begin your journey toward clarity, security, and renewal.